Happily Ever After Is Just the Beginning
In Our Love Story: Part 2, I told you how Brighton and I fell in love and everything appeared picture perfect. But then we hit a wall where we each saw our future together playing out in different ways. They were so different, in fact, that part two of our story ended with my driving away thinking our relationship might have reached a tragic end. So here's part three. The part in a movie where the guy and the girl must overcome the odds in order to find their happily ever after.
As with any movie, our ending seems pretty predictable. From looking at the homepage of this blog you see Brighton and I together, smiling down at our little boy. So obviously we experienced our happily ever after, right? Well, what if I told you happily ever after isn't what it is in the movies? What if I told you Hollywood's had it wrong all this time? Let me use the rest of our love story to show you.
Throughout Part One and Part Two our love affair follows a movie script quite perfectly, I think. Guy and girl cross paths. Guy and girl miss opportunity. What this world terms as "destiny" brings guy and girl back together where they fall headfirst into a whirlwind romance. Then guy and girl experience a major fight and their future together looks bleak. And this is where we pick back up with the story.
After leaving Brighton's place in tears and my heart breaking in pain of what I thought would happen next, I went straight to the person who knew the ins and outs of our relationship the best. She introduced us, set us up, and watched us fall in love. She knew better than anyone else how devastating this fight could be for us.
I met up with Hailey the same evening and told her all about our fight. I sat in the passenger seat of her car and cried and told her I thought this might be the end. Like any decent best friend, she offered solid comfort and threatened to knock some sense into Brighton.
"You want me to talk to him? I'm so ticked at him. Doesn't he realize what he's doing to you?" Hailey let out an exasperated sigh mid-rant. "I should give him a piece of my mind. He's being such a jerk!"
Looking back, I know I was just as much to blame for our fight. After all, it takes two people with two prideful hearts to have an escalated argument. Neither of us handled ourselves the best when we disagreed. But in the moment, sitting in Hailey's car full of hurt and anger, I couldn't agree more with what Hailey said. In my mind, Brighton was being a jerk and acting unreasonable. While I didn't let Hailey give Brighton a good solid lecture, I did feel a little better knowing someone else was on my side and thought the same about the situation.
But even after a good venting and crying session with my friend, my heart still ached and I hadn't figured out where to go next. Should I call Brighton to try to work things out? Should I give us more time? Should I wait for him to call me? I drove back to my house with the questions stampeding through my head and guilt about how I acted worming its way into the swamp of conflicting emotions. I decided to give us more time before reaching out to him. I needed to cool off more, and I honestly didn't have the energy to argue with him any more about it, because I wasn't ready to change my mind. I assumed he wasn't ready to change his either.
This is where our story starts to change from how Hollywood would portray the story. Our fight didn't lead to a temporary break up. We didn't go days or weeks without speaking. In fact, within an hour of when I got home, Brighton texted me to let me know he was on his way over.
He showed up at my house and sat down with me on the front step.
"I talked to Roy," he said.
Great, I thought. He's been talking to his roommate and Roy's probably took his side like Hailey took mine. "And what did Roy have to say?" I asked even though I thought I knew the answer.
"He said it wasn't fair for me to leave like this. At least to wait until we're engaged." Brighton sighed. "He said it wasn't fair to move away without a commitment and expect you to wait for me." He paused as if thinking. "He makes a good point."
"He does," I agreed. But my inner skeptic was on full alert. So are you going to propose to me right now so you can say you committed and then move away? Instead of asking the bitter skeptical question, I looked over at him and raised a brow. "So what are we going to do?"
For awhile we sat on the porch and dished out our feelings once more. Only this time, we didn't raise our voices and I did my best not to be overly emotional. I'm not saying I succeeded, but I did try. Brighton came over in an attempt to see things from my point of view, so I needed to swallow my own pride and look at the situation from his perspective. We talked and talked some more. I apologized for getting upset so quickly and he apologized for dropping his idea on me so suddenly. He said he just wanted to do what was best for us and wanted to be able to provide for our future.
What I thought was selfish motive, was in fact, his way of taking care of me and providing. Although, to this day, even though I do agree that his moving away wouldn't have been evil and selfish, I still don't see how it would have been good. You see, Brighton and I communicate our love in different languages. He communicates love through Acts of Service while I communicate love through Quality Time. So while he wanted to love and serve me by moving away to get life set up for us and have our future ready to go, I wanted him to stay close so we could spend time together and show our love for each other daily. Neither way was wrong. They were simply different.
In the end, Brighton chose to stay in Colorado. We dated for another six months and on the evening before my 23rd birthday, he proposed to me in City Park under the same gazebo we had shared our first kiss over a year earlier (a beautiful story all its own which I'll share another time). Then on September 14, 2014 we said our vows in front of family and friends, promised each other a lifetime together, and rode off in a horse drawn carriage into our future as husband and wife.
In a romantic movie, this is where the screen fades to black and the credits roll. The love story is over and guy and girl live happily ever after. But happily ever after isn't an ending. It's only the beginning. Our love story was just the introduction to the rest of our lives as two people coming together as one.
We've had other fights. We've faced hardships. We've laughed, cried, danced, and mourned. We've experienced so much more than a movie or a blog post could ever dream of portraying. Happily ever after is living together and finding joy in your love for one another during both the good and the bad times. Happily ever after isn't something you magically attain when you find the love of your life. Happily ever after is an action. It's choosing to find happiness in the person you've chosen to be your forever. It's building a family and cultivating a deeper relationship. It's helping your husband or wife when they are hurting or struggling. It's clinging to your vows when times are hard and fights break out. It's being joyful together when times are good and life feels easy. It's holding each other's hand through the years as your hair grays and skin wrinkles. Our happily ever after is ongoing. It will continue on as long as we both live and breathe the air of this earth.
Our love story isn't just a three part blog post. Our love story is much bigger than that. Our love story is us living the life we've chosen together each and every day.
I hope you've enjoyed our love story. Like I said, I'm not leaving you at the end of a story. I have many more stories to share and Brighton and I have more adventures ahead as we live out our love through marriage. This is truly only the beginning.
To read more about the lessons I've learned in our marriage click here.
This is like the coffee talk corner. Sometimes I give organization tips or relationship advice, but a lot of times I'm just sharing about the everyday moments that make up my life.